| # | Player | Comments |
| 1 | Claude Lemieux | Prick. |
| 2 | Dale Hunter | Bastard never got what he deserved |
| 3 | Chris Chelios | Now this fucktard truly never got what he deserved. If I saw this fucker kidnapped at gunpoint, I wouldn't tell a soul. |
| 4 | Ulf Samuelsson | Too bad this lowlife was wearing a helmet when his head bounced on the ice after Domi knocked him out on his feet. |
| 5 | George McPhee | Annoying chirping buffoon. Loved when he thought he could take on the elite heavyweights. Watching Dave Brown use his head as a speedbag never gets old. |
| 6 | Dan Frawley | Bitch of all bitches. Pure and simple. Probably watches Oprah religiously. |
| 7 | Darcy Tucker | Hmmm, how would one describe Darcy Tucker? Oh yes, GARBAGE. |
| 8 | Garry Howatt | Hair pulling midget. |
| 9 | Sean Avery | Bottom of the barrel. The absolute lowest form of life in the universe. Someone slap his mama across the face with a machete for the crime of spreadin' her filthy leision-covered legs and exposing her scab-covered vagina to every inbred in the trailer park; and because she let 50 meth-heads fuck her skankhole the night Sean was conceived, he will never know who his father is. And being a goddamned dress-wearing, purse-carrying princess doesn't help matters. |
| 10 | Harry Dick | It could be worse... at least his last name wasn't Cox. |
| 11 | Darius Kasparaitis | commie |
| 12 | Derek Sanderson | This clown defines 'homer.' May as well have announced to the public during a broadcast that he wanted to give Jay Miller a blow job. |
| 13 | Guy Chouinard | Not one fight or major penalty in 757 career games. What a fuckin pussy. |
| 14 | Cody McLeod | He is at the point in his life where he could handle 10 inches of crank in his arse without lube. |
| 15 | Ted Kennedy | Who doesn't hate fat, drunk, old, worthless Senators from Massachusetts. |
| 16 | Wayne Van Dorp | The quintessential cement-head; proof that a human can have a single-digit IQ. |
| 17 | Steve Webb | If this goof was a dog, he would have been taken out back and shot. |
| 18 | Colby Armstrong | This guy is such a pussy, he smells like Oprah Winfrey's crotch if she never took a shower. |
| 19 | Greg Smyth | Total buffoon. It was baffling to me why a punching bag would be put in the role of enforcer. All of the heavies made him look silly. |
| 20 | Kevin Collins | I don't know if back when he was a kid he had fantasies of being a respected law- and-order type by stopping gunfights from starting back in the early days of the American west; or if he thought the fans spent their hard-earned money just to see him be a wannabe hero, but this cock unnecessarily stopped too damn many good fights from happening.
What Berube did to him by accident needed to happen to this fucktard about 50k more times on purpose. He could have also used a few dozen kicks to the balls just to let him know what a disgrace he is to hockey, linesmen, officiating, and manhood. |
| 21 | Keith Acton | If he was tough and could fight, he would be Tie Domi |
| 22 | Tie Domi | If he wasn't tough and couldn't fight, he would be Keith Acton.
With all of his histrionics, cheerleading, grandstanding, and outright disrespect to respected established enforcers (and everyone else in general), he can only be considered an absolute disgrace to the role of enforcer, and all of the honorable men that have been cast in that role. |
| 23 | Gordie Howe | He couldn't handle Gretzky breaking his cherished records. As a result, he finds he can artificially set a record no one can possibly break by playing in 7 different decades. Somehow a corpse on skates playing on one shift in one game constitutes being a player during a decade. It's just cheap and quite sad. |
| 24 | Maxim Lapierre | Candy-ass pile of dog shit. This bag of shit is another coward that needs to be put in a time machine and brought back to the NHL of the 1970s where pussies like him had to answer for their gutlessness. There is no way in hell he would have withstood the ass-whipping he would have received on a nightly basis. |
| 25 | Billy Tibbetts | It's a shame how certain people somehow escape being aborted with crude and unsanitized household items and ignominiously tossed into a dumpster, and then grow up only to justify the idea that certain people should have been aborted with crude and unsanitized household items and ignominiously tossed into a dumpster. |
| 26 | Andrew Ference | Simply a pussy that is surrounded by big tough guys, and the bitch knows it, so he plays like he is 8 feet tall and bulletproof. |
| 27 | Matt Cooke | Throw this cocksucker into the exact center of the Pacific Ocean. If he can make it to shore, he can live. Because he has an advantage, tie a 100 lb. weight around his ankle just to make it fair. |
| 28 | Brendan Shanahan | Almost like a 1980's tv preacher, with a slight variation. Whereas the preacher sins while he preaches against sin, Shanny did all of the sinning first, and now is a crusader against sinning. Unfortunately this dirthole has power. And, he uses this power like a child, clearly forgetting he was exceedingly guilty of everything he is suspending players for. But just like all pigs, politicians, and propagandists, this fuck will just rationalize this unflattering dichotomy with some silly, windy, bullshit rhetoric. What I meant to say was---fuck this pig!!!!!!! |
| 29 | Paul Baxter | If "enforcer" is another name for "cum drinking bitch," then this pickle-puffing pussy is most certainly an enforcer. |
| 30 | Noel Picard | An utter disgrace to civilization |
| 31 | Jay Caufield | He is pound-for-pound, arguably the worst fighter the NHL has ever seen. |
| 32 | Zdeno Chara | It is sad when a man this size is an absolute pussy. He is the type that is the toughest guy in the world in a crowd, but would shit out his intestines if he had to face a dangerous situation alone. |
| 33 | Chris Nilan | Overrated fighter. Did more to desperately hold on for dear life and neutralize an opponent than to try to win. He relished in being an irritating bastard and would often be a cheap-shot punk. |
| 34 | Doug Houda | Another worthless punching bag. |
| 35 | Keith Magnuson | A mutt that deserved all of his brutal beatings. What can I count on in the world? Death, taxes, Maggie getting his ass kicked. |