BanzaiRabbit Hate List


1Sidney Crosby Crybaby, and a total disgrace to hockey. That Crosby is allowed to skate around unmolested is an insult to every superstar who came before him. And he's the gateway for every Connor McDavid coward who thinks they're above the rules. Please, someone cheapshot this jackass into an early retirement, since clearly nobody's going to pummel him legally the way he deserves.
2Claude Lemieux Just a terrible human being.
3Nick Kypreos If Ryan VandenBussche had been in the league ten years earlier, the NHL may never have had to suffer this useless goon. How people can like this guy, even fans of teams he played for, is beyond my understanding. I wish that someone had brutally ended his career early on, so that the careers of many other, more talented NHL players wouldn't have been blemished by this piece of crap. Lying twitching in a pool of his own pouring blood wasn't enough justice.
4Patrick Kaleta A guy like this epitomizes the Buffalo Sabres. Dirty, whiny, cheap, all talk and no bite.
5Zdeno Chara If I threw one punch at guys half my height and then got tied up, I'd have a big win percentage too.
6P.K. Subban Put him in a Flyers uniform and I'd probably love him.
7Marty McSorley My hatred for this steroid monster goes back to the early 1990's. After being leveled on a solid check, he got upset and speared bystander Mike Bullard in the dick in retaliation, knowing Bullard wasn't a fighter. Brashear was just one in a long line of psycho moments in this nutcase's career. When he concentrated on hockey, he was a very underrated player, too, which is the biggest shame.
8Dan Bylsma Worthless scum as a player and worthless scum as a coach.
9John Erskine The bravest coward in the NHL.
10Chris Chelios I already hated him for a long time, but after reading most of his autobiography, I don't even have words to describe my utter hatred for this nonperson. I am genuinely sorry he played in the NHL. I genuinely wish Ron Hextall had broken Chelios's neck. I really do, deep in my heart.
11Don Cherry Just because he talks about toughness and fights all day long doesn't make him some kind of hero. I have an uncle who is a racist, ignorant bozo of a bigot too, but nobody thinks he's a hero for it. Don Cherry has said that Don Cherry is a cult hero so many times that now even Don Cherry believes it. I remember a Sports Illustrated article about asking Cherry who he thought were the toughest players in the league, and Cherry "quotes" his freaking *dog* in the article. And I'm pretty confident my cat could beat up his dog.
12Brendan Shanahan Selfish douchebag as a player and selfish douchebag as an NHL executive.
13Kevin Collins In his zeal to stop fights, he's probably personally responsible for more injuries to players than the players themselves would do to each other.
14Bryan Marchment If you took a bowel movement and strapped skates on it, Marchment would still have less class than it. His first word word was "aduuuhhh" and his first sentence was "I like attack people knees". And that was when he was 23.
15Mike Milbury Nobody cares what Milbury has to say. Nobody. Terrible teammate, terrible coach, terrible GM, terrible commentator. He needs to go away.
16Mike Richards This guy *should* have been the future of the Flyers. On-ice leader, talented, scores big goals, and will fight to stick up for his team. But incredibly immature. When he was supposed to be team captain, the Flyers [not so] secretly really had Chris Pronger in the dressing room firing up the team while Richie partied it up like a geeky teenager on spring break who found alcohol for the first time. Now, allegations of heavier drug use. No secret either that he and Jeff Carter liked to inhale greener smoke than just cigarettes, while nightclubbing with underage girls. He had all the tools to be a legend, but burned himself out like a Duraflame log, and now gets to face the consequences of having lost his skills in a league that doesn't want him anymore.
17Milan Lucic I do not understand how even his own fans in Boston or LA can like this guy. He's a crybaby and a coward, has a massive ego yet a fragile fortitude, and has just a casual acquaintance with NHL rules and the unwritten code. It makes me wonder if his supporters like him because he provides endless comedic gold, or if he simply makes them feel better about themselves and their own shortcomings. Lucic is the perfect example of a tough guy who is also a delicate flower. He'll run anyone over from behind, but the first time someone looks at him the wrong way he has a meltdown. He also seems overly obsessed with opponents' genitals, and makes physical contact with them as often as possible.
18Darcy Tucker Sometimes, when I take a really impressive, stinky, steaming, mushy dump, I will name it out of respect before I flush it. I've dropped a Tie Domi, a Sidney Crosby, a John Tortorella, even a Nick Kypreos or two. But I don't even name my hemorrhoid blood after Tucker. I have too much respect for my hemorrhoids. If Darcy Tucker was killed during a game, I would have had a party. In fact, when he does eventually die, I will have a party in honor of his death, and I will tweet the photos to his family. That's how much I hate Darcy Tucker.
19Chris Neil Chris Neil is that little 5-year-old kid who runs up to a 3-year-old on the playground and pushes him over. The 3-year-old gets up and pushes Neil, Neil again pushes him over. As Neil starts punching the prone 3-year-old, suddenly the 3-year-old's big 10-year-old brother comes running over to help his fallen sibling. Neil jumps up and runs away, crying, and tells his mommy that the big mean 10-year-old attacked him for no reason at all. The 3-year-old is bruised, the 10-year-old gets grounded, and Neil sits at home where his mommy gives him milk and cookies. Tomorrow, it starts all over again.
20Dion Phaneuf A complete coward who only fights nonfighters and those he can easily outmatch. He'll hit a guy dirty if he can't find a clean hit, and doesn't really answer for it in a meaningful way. Someday, someone is going to ram a stick down his throat and end his career, and hockey will be better off for it. Coward. Filthy, dirty, cheap coward.
21Joe Thornton Much like former teammate Milan Lucic, Joe Thornton is both a tough guy and a complete panty-wetting sissy at the same time. He'll happily attack the Sedins or Eric Desjardins, but comes up small when it's time to defend his teammates. I had a guy like this on my team for a few games back in small times. He'd push around the kids who just wanted to play hockey, but he got really quiet when anyone with toughness looked his way.
22Tim Thomas Tim Traitor Thomas spends his summers swallowing the scrote of his teabagger soulmate Ben Davis as they reminisce about the glory days of owning slaves and beating women. Hey, TT, you know the punishment for treason is death, right? Do us all a favor and take care of that, thanks.
23Glenn Anderson Glenn Anderson wasn't the king bully on the playground, but he was the guy who hung out with the king bully who would occasionally beat on a random kid who wasn't likely to fight back. And by "beat on" I mean Anderson was the kid who would shove a girl down the stairs from behind, or throw a rock at the head of a kid walking home minding his own business. If the kid went back at him, or the kid's older brother went after him, Anderson would go back to hiding behind his tougher buddies.
24Scott Stevens It's absolutely shameful that so many people love Stevens. He had skills aplenty, but there's something wrong with him mentally. I have a feeling that, if he didn't have hockey, he'd be the guy setting a dog on fire and uploading the video to 4chan because he thought it was funny. It's great to play tough, but constantly trying to hurt other people numerous times over his career diminishes any success he had.
25Gary Roberts Being an asshole does not equal being tough. And Roberts was a goddamned asshole. Pretty sure he was taking steroids in the last few years of his career, because he started acting like a psycho as well as an asshole. A lot of people seem to forget what a miserable bag of pus he was because of his really good game skills.
26Sean Avery I hope he dies from AIDS. That is all there really is to say about Sean Avery.
27Paul Stewart Paul Stewart admitted on the record that, as a referee, he intentionally targeted players he didn't personally like. One example: Stewart hounded a rookie Eric Lindros with a stack of posters after a Flyer loss, asking 88 to autograph them for him. Lindros declined. Stewart admitted that he then spent the rest of his officiating career calling bad penalties on Lindros, and overlooking opponents' infractions on Lindros, in order to get revenge on Eric for not signing the posters. Also has a very high opinion of his own very mediocre career as a fighter in his playing days.
28Tony Twist How could I possibly hate Tony Twist?! He did all the right things, including putting his fist through the face of that piece of crap Rob "The Nudist" Ray. So what the hell is my problem? Steroids, that's what. Cheater.
29Pat Quinn I never understood why he always wore that weird white cloth helmet on the bench as a coach, but I do know that his Leafs teams tended to be a bunch of untalented cowardly goons [Domi] and cheapshot artists [Sundin]. A team doesn't get that way by accident, they get that way because their coach has small balls and wants to live vicariously through his players. See Dan Bylsma. Anyway, I know Quinn is absolutely beloved throughout the hockey world and I'm in a microscopic minority here. But I'm sorry, I think he was a mouthy jerk. Update: It has been brought to my attention that the white cloth helmet was, in fact, his actual hair. Apologies.
30Patrick Roy He must have been dropped on his head repeatedly as a child, because his behavior as an adult is pretty unreasonable. He likes beating up women, and he likes making his children fight his battles for him. That's pretty much the recipe for a criminally insane psychopath. I bet he also tortured animals as a kid. Maybe as an adult. Without hockey, he probably would have been BTK or the second coming of the Zodiac. Why he doesn't have a lifetime ban from organized hockey after the "my kid can beat up your kid" incident is beyond me.
31Mark Messier Ooovvveeerrrrrraaattteeeddd. Looked like a Neanderthal, but with nowhere near the class and respectability of a Neanderthal. He had a quantity of physical talent, and benefitted from being surrounded by skilled players in Edmonton and New York, and could fight a bit. The problem is, he was cheap, dirty, whiny, and possesses a gigantic ego. Liked to hit people up high with his stick and throw elbows, especially against nonfighting skill players. A cult hero in New York, which is enough reason to be hated. Probably would have loved him if he was on the Flyers.
32Andrew Shaw It's 2016, not 1976. Can't yell bigoted stuff at people anymore. It has nothing to do with the myth of "political correctness" - calling something "PC" is shorthand for saying "I'm a goddamn ignorant bozo who isn't capable of evolving past my own fragile whiny baby ego, so instead of trying to change for the betterment of the world I'm going to cling to the outdated past like a dingleberry on a hemmorhoid". And yeah, Wayne Simmonds should have been punished too.
33Todd Bergen He *should* be on my Love List after a long and extremely productive NHL career with the Flyers, except he played one fragment of one amazing NHL season and then decided to play golf instead. Quitter.
34Justin Abdelkader I hate the Lightning, but I hope someone gets a chance to put the butt-end of their stick through Abdelkader's mouth. He's like Lucic - complete dirty cheapshot artist and a complete coward. Because he refuses to take his medicine, he's going to get one of his teammates hurt. What a piece of crap he is. And just continues to add event after event of classless cheap shots and cowardly spotpicking to his resume. I hope someone takes this coward out before he kills someone.
35Tie Domi Unlike most sheep, I do not worship this coward. Sure he was a tough fighter, sure he brought energy to his teams, sure he was entertaining. But ultimately, even as a fighter, he was little more than a sideshow entertainer who disappeared when things got serious.
36Doug Gilmour Cheapshot specialist. Didn't get his ass kicked nearly often enough for justice. A Sabre and a Maple Loaf, and fit both teams perfectly - a certain amount of skill and talent, and overflowing with douchebaggery and unearned smugness. Hid behind tough guys his entire career.
37Dany Heatley Thought he was an indestructible little teenage shit with a speedy car and hot babes. Murdered fan favorite Dan Snyder, somehow was unbelievably forgiven by many Atlanta fans, then turned his back on them. Every shift he took on ice was an insult to the memory of the Snyder family.
38Connor McDavid Not a role model, unless you want your kids to learn that crying and temper tantrums are the keys to success. He has a tremendous amount of talent, too. He's like Sid Crosby in that regard - a talent for the ages and yet a whiny spoiled brat.
39John Tortorella If you like Torts, there's something not right in your head.. same as Torts.


1Boston Bruins 2014-2015 For a team with such a storied and dignified history in the NHL, the fans are some of the least hockey-savvy in the league, but they still whine and cry among the loudest. I've never seen a fanbase fall apart so quickly under pressure.

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